April 4, 2011

Meme Monday: Posts in 11 Words or Less

Filed under: Uncategorized — Joe Casella @ 4:00 pm

I decided to take Tom LaRock’s Meme Monday challenge an extra step and write eleven posts. (I’m spending the morning in a hospital waiting room and have nothing else to do.)   While his initial announcement asked for a story,  today he asked for a blog post.  Here’s a combination of the two:

  1. Keys, constraints, non-nullable fields—no one will corrupt your data.
  2. Review the plan, add an index, you’re the hero—for today.
  3. Wide, unindexed, and keyless is no way to build tables, son.
  4. While the others partied, you studied. Now you’re the DBA.
  5. It was a dark and stormy night.  Luckily we have backups.
  6. Since September, SQL Saturday sessions started selecting superstar speakers. (Had to try alliteration once!)
  7. It seemed like a good idea, but this rollback isn’t ending.
  8. After the morning’s meetings, he was happy to be writing code.
  9. He thought it was funny to name servers after dead dictators.
  10. Then, one day, he learned what “train your replacement” really meant.
  11.  “You really thought people would watch ‘The Real DBAs of NYC?’”

Well this was so much fun, here are a few Tom Swifties to round things out:

  1. “I’ll rewrite the stored procedure,” Tom said optimistically.
  2. “Add a filegroup to create some space,” said Tom freely.
  3. “I’m going to stop the SQL Server service,” Tom said haltingly.
  4. “You should have run it in development first,” said Tom testily.
  5. “All in favor of deploying the database?” Tom moved.
  6. “We should mirror that server?, said Tom reflectively.
  7. “Can you help me with this query?” Tom inquired.

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